Reflecting on our Lives

Life is a river of consciousness. We continually experience moments which simultaneously live and die. If we aren’t aware of them, they are lost. Reflecting on our experiences assists us to notice and remember them in more detail. It assists us apply our imagination to our experiences, thereby learning from them. We can reflect on our individual experiences and as groups, reflect upon our group experiences as follows:

Reflection is essentially a brainstorm. We ask questions about our experiences and then answer them. When we do a group brainstorm, the responses of others will trigger memories in one that wouldn’t have occurred if that one were alone. But when an individual does a brainstorm, she can go more deeply into a personal experience.

Group Reflection

Events may include participating in a meeting, watching a movie, political event such as a political speech or debate, viewing a picture, listening to music, a planning meeting, work party, celebration or any shared event. Participants often fail to recognize their experiences of an event, think of their implications or make decisions. A directed reflection after an event brings the shared experiences to consciousness, allows participants to create a common understanding of their implications and each participant to decide his or her commitment.

At the beginning of the event, the leader should inform the participants that afterwards I will lead a directed reflection which will include questions about:

· about the event (objective)

· their reactions to the event (reflective)

· the implications of the event (interpretive)

· their learning and decision to act based on the event (decisional)

Objective questions refer only to what happened. They might be: What did you see? What settings? What people? What colors? What did you hear? What sounds? What words and phrases? What themes? What else did you notice?

Reflective questions refer to the participants reactions to the event: How did you feel? Where were you interested? Excited? Angry? Bored? Curious, wanting to know more? How would you have changed the event? What would you want more of? What would you want omitted? What other emotions did you have? What will you remember?

Interpretive questions refer to broader understandings of the event: Where have you experienced something similar? Where else in the world has something similar occurred? What did this inform us about what goes on in the world?

Decisional questions refer to: What you have learned? What decisions have you made about your actions? How are you different? What is your story about the event? What would you tell others about the event?

Before the event, the leader should carefully select the questions of each type to ask. After the event, the questions should be asked and short responses obtained, as is done in brainstorming. The result should be that people leave the event with a story about the event, what it revealed about the world and their decisions to act.

Individual Reflection

An individual can do ask the same types of reflective questions as was used with a group above. One important reflection done at the end of a day, or other time period, about the events of the time period.

Draw a horizontal line and mark of the hours from awakening until the end of the day. Write vertical labels above the line concerning the events and activities of the day. Don’t be so detailed as: brushed teeth, combed hair, put on socks, or even groomed and dressed. But you may have 8-10 activities, that occurred. Now draw a horizontal line over them and above the line separate the activities into 2-4 with labels. Then another line and write a title for the whole day. The resulting chart could be expressed verbally, as the day of the, consisting of the, the, and the, with the first consisting of, and the second consisting of., etc. This chart portrays the objective happenings of the day.

Now you can write under the bottom horizontal line, your reactions to the events: anticipation, anger, depression, celebration, curiosity, etc. Then you can draw a graph showing the ups and downs of the day. You can ask the interpretive questions: when have you had similar experiences, or others have had similar experiences. What does this tell us about ourselves or the world? Finally, what decisions have I made about how I will think or behave in similar situations. You may want to go back and label the day differently to reflect more than just the objective facts.

You don’t have to make a chart. You can reflect on the day in bed just before going to sleep. You can use the same procedure to reflect upon a task, once it is finished, or an encounter with another person, or a long term friendship, or marriage. Any aspect of your life that you want to experience more richly, learn from and remember.